I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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