I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
