we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
