Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
try to milk me bitch
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
