Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
