I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
