so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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