we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
