I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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