Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
