You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
