My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
