"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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