I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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