I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
