It's Friday. Sex?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
