you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
