shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
