I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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