CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
