Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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