Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize