When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
