fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
