Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
operation have a gay friend backfired
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
