best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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