...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Everyone says I win the strip club
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
