Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
