I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
