fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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