butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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