i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
