Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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