All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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