You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
