you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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