so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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