i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
