Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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