CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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