I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
