the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
