i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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