she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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