so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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