I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So many bounce houses so little time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
