You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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