i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
