My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize