Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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