She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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