I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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