suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
