Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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