Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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