Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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