your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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