Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
