I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
