worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
